The hallowed halls of Candlekeep, the greatest repository of knowledge in the Forgotten Realms, were thrown into disarray yesterday morning when a coordinated rebellion of ink imps swept through the scriptorium. These tiny, mischievous fiends, typically confined to the margins of cursed spellbooks, managed to escape their bindings during a routine cleansing ritual. Their target was specific and devastating: every single vial of blue ink within the fortress monastery was drained, spilled, or magically evaporated. The Head Librarian, a stern wizard known for his patience and thick spectacles, was reportedly seen turning shades of purple reminiscent of the very ink that was stolen.
Scribes across the facility were left scrambling for alternatives, resulting in a day's worth of historical records written in beet juice, crushed berry pulp, and occasionally dragon blood. While the latter provides excellent permanence, it tends to attract predatory beasts who can smell the arcane residue from miles away. Several junior acolytes reported seeing their manuscripts suddenly grow teeth and attempt to bite their quills. The magical community is baffled by the organization displayed by the imps, suggesting that there may be a ringleader, perhaps a rogue illusionist using the creatures to protest the new digitization of scrolls into crystal balls.
Security golems have been deployed to patrol the stacks, but they are having difficulty distinguishing between legitimate scholars and imps disguised as quills. There have been several incidents where a librarian attempted to dip a creature into an inkwell, only for it to fly away laughing maniacally. The maintenance staff is overwhelmed by the sheer volume of sticky blue footprints leading to the ventilation shafts. Some theorists believe this is a sign of the impending Age of Chaos, while others suggest the imps were just bored. The Head Librarian has issued a decree promising a reward of five hundred gold pieces for the capture of the imp king, dead or alive, though preferably alive so he can be forced to lick the floors clean.
In the meantime, classes on historical transcription have been cancelled. Students are instead being taught the art of charcoal rubbing, which is messier but significantly harder for imps to steal. Local merchants are reporting a surge in demand for red and green ink, causing a temporary shortage in those colors as well. The situation has become so dire that some wizards are resorting to using magic to write directly into the air, though this method is fleeting and often blown away by drafts. The Gazette recommends all visitors to Candlekeep bring their own writing supplies, preferably in sealed containers warded against tiny claws. Until the rebellion is quelled, the knowledge of the ages remains temporarily illegible.
📰 Satire. Not real news. This story parodies real events, and every name in it is a fictional stand-in.
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