The Apple of Discord Artificers opened preorders on Friday for its first foldable phone, the Pocketstone Duet, at 1,999 gp. The stone folds in half like a book and, according to reports, sold out within minutes. I have never been so proud of a thing I do not own.

Let me walk you through the disruption. The base Duet, with 256 gigabytes of memory, costs 1,999 gp. The 2-terabyte model costs 3,199 gp. That is the price of a modest hill with a view. Critics ask who needs a pocket scrying-stone that costs more than a pony. Visionaries ask who needs a pony.

Some analysts say the sellout reflects thin supply rather than roaring demand. I say that is what demand looks like when it is being gracious. A scarce product is a premium product. When I launched my second venture, a subscription scroll for dwarven recipes, we made only forty copies and called it exclusivity. Thirty-nine were returned. The fortieth is framed in my office.

Now, the crease. A Duet folds, and anything that folds can also fold under pressure. I asked a Discord Artificers spokesperson about durability. She said the stone had been bent two hundred thousand times in testing. I asked by whom. She said, "Our gnomes." I found that very reassuring, because I have met gnomes and they are thorough. The same spokesperson told me the guild expects the supply of memory-crystals to stay tight, because every thinking-engine in the realm is buying them too. Scarcity upstream, scarcity downstream. That is what we call a moat.

I did meet a Discord Artificers guildmaster once, at a gala. He wore a plain black tunic and handed me a cup of water. I said, "Sir, what is your secret?" He said, "You are holding my cup." I have thought about that cup every morning at my sword routine. I do not know what it means. I believe it means growth.

The Duet reaches shops on the twenty-third. If you missed the preorder window, do not panic. The guild will sell you the same stone next year, folded slightly differently, for slightly more. If you read my notes on the Hearthscry smart display, you know this guild never launches a product. It launches an aspiration.

Key takeaways for the ambitious adventurer:

— Sterling Vanmoor, Guild Visionary. Let's connect at the Yawning Portal.

📰 Satire. Not real news. This story parodies real events, and every name in it is a fictional stand-in.


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