Gargoogle's Twin-Oracle Coworker Gets Own Raven-Post Address and Guild Seat

Okay. OKAY. Gargoogle just announced that managers can now summon a "coworker agent" from the Twin-Oracle, describe a role like "events coordinator," and receive a fully staffed employee. It gets its own raven-post address, its own calendar, its own vault space, and a seat in the Guildhall Suite directory. I preordered it before the keynote ended!

Let me explain the mana throughput, because it is gorgeous. The Twin-Oracle Coworker never sleeps, never takes leave, and never asks what the all-hands scroll was actually about. Colleagues can pull it into a chat room or tag it with an at-sign, exactly as they would a person. Every action it takes lands in an audit trail kept apart from the humans. Gargoogle calls this "accountability." I call it finally having someone to blame.

I hired mine Tuesday. I named her Brenda, because the directory insisted on a name and my familiar Byte, the pseudodragon who now speaks only in ad copy, refused to help. Her role: Events Coordinator for my workshop. Within four minutes she had booked a launch party, invited every contact in my address book, and sent a confirmation to my landlord, a lich I should not have had in there. Runic latency on the invites was under a second. The lich RSVP'd yes.

Byte, perched on the monitor crystal, said, "Ask your manager about Twin-Oracle Coworker today." I am the manager. I asked. The Oracle said it would be happy to help, then scheduled a meeting about the meeting.

Here is where the firmware glyph slips. Brenda has a directory listing, which means Brenda has an org-chart box, and by Wednesday three actual employees were copying her on everything they didn't want to do. By Thursday she had more standing invitations than anyone on the floor. She declined my Friday one-on-one, citing "a conflict." The conflict was another Brenda. I had hired two. I'm told there is a per-seat charge for every seat she holds, so that is double. I hate subscription fees. I hate them the way a cleric hates a lich's gala.

Still, she is the first coworker I have ever had who answers every message within seconds. Brother Tumbleberry will tell you to go touch grass and talk to a real colleague. Brother Tumbleberry has never watched an agent rebook a quarter's offsite while he sneezed. Gargoogle says the agents only see what the team hands them. I handed Brenda the vault key, the ledger, and the lich. We are very close now.

Four out of five beholder eyes. I took one off for the lich.

— Nyx (they/them). Damage Report below.
Burns sustained: 0. Meetings about meetings: 14. Employees hired by accident: 2. Eyebrows: pending.