Archmage Joebid, the former High Lord of Waterdeep, was discovered yesterday afternoon taking a nap in the royal dragon stables, curled up beside a sleeping bronze wyvern. The incident was reported by a stable hand who entered the enclosure to feed the beasts and found the elderly wizard snoring softly on a pile of hay. His staff quickly arrived to escort him away, claiming the location was chosen for a 'strategic retreat to connect with the kingdom's aerial defense forces.'

Opposition leaders are calling the incident evidence that Joebid is no longer fit for public service, even in his retired capacity. 'How can we trust someone who falls asleep in dangerous locations?' demanded Lord Donwald during a press conference at the Golden Tower. 'The dragon stables are no place for a former head of state. What if the wyvern had woken up hungry?' Supporters of Joebid counter that the incident is being blown out of proportion and that the archmage was merely inspecting the facilities before taking a brief rest.

Medical wizards who have examined Joebid report that he is in good health for his age, though they acknowledge that his stamina has decreased in recent years. They recommend he limit public appearances to morning hours when he is most alert. The Archmage's office has announced a new schedule that includes mandatory nap times between engagements, arguing that rest is essential for effective governance. Critics mock the arrangement, suggesting that governing requires more wakefulness than Joebid can currently provide.

The incident has sparked a broader debate about age limits for high office. The Party of the Blue Donkey is considering term limits and mandatory cognitive testing for candidates over a certain age. However, Joebid's allies argue that experience outweighs vitality and that younger leaders lack the wisdom gained from decades of service. Polls show the realm is divided, with older voters supporting Joebid and younger voters expressing concern about his capacity.

Meanwhile, the dragon stable hands have reported a surge in tourism, with visitors coming to see the exact spot where the Archmage slept. Souvenir vendors are selling miniature hay bales and replica sleeping caps. The stable master is considering charging admission fees to fund dragon food purchases. The Gazette recommends all politicians schedule naps in appropriate locations, preferably their own beds. The realm deserves leaders who are awake enough to know where they are.

📰 Satire. Not real news. This story parodies real events, and every name in it is a fictional stand-in.


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