Pale Stockings, Laughingstock of 121 Losses, One Win From the Pennant Melee

At roughly the sixth bell of the evening, every tavern on the Southside of Chikraggo was allegedly full, and the one on Ironpan Lane had started seating people on the bar. The Pale Stockings play the Cleaveland Sentinels tonight in the fifth and final game of the Division Skirmish of Major League Batball. Win and they go to the Pennant Melee against the Stingmantas of Tampering Bay. Lose and everybody goes home and stares at a wall.

If you're new to batball, this is not supposed to be happening. Two summers ago the Pale Stockings went 41 and 121, the worst record in the history of the League, allegedly. That did happen. I checked. Then they lost a hundred games again, and again the year after. No club in League history had ever lost a hundred games two years running and then reached the postseason. The Stockings did it after three.

"I bought a season pass as a punishment," said Dorvin Kettlebrook, who was eating a turkey leg at the time. "For myself. Now I can't get rid of it. My brother-in-law wants it. I told him no."

Quartermaster Chris Gets allegedly fixed the roster by getting rid of almost all of it. Holdovers from the 121-loss team have taken less than a fifth of the club's turns at the plate this year, according to a scribe at Candlekeep who counts these things for fun. Gets brought in the slugger Munetaka Muramagi from Kozakura on a two-year deal worth 34 million gp, and Muramagi spent the spring hitting balls into places balls are not allowed to go. Skipper Will Venerable, in only his second season running the dugout, has the team playing like it owes money to somebody dangerous.

The first round went fast. The Stockings swept the Starcallers of Hewston in two games, 6-3 and 7-3. Then they went to Cleaveland and won both games there. Then they came home to the Southside and lost both, 9-3 and 9-5, in front of their own people, which is a very Stockings thing to do. Home field has been cursed all series. Tonight they're on the road, so allegedly that's good.

Venerable told the town criers that young Sean Berserk will be "the bulk guy" tonight. I'm told this means he throws a lot of innings, not that he's large. I saw him once. He's medium.

Across town, the Northside Owlbear Whelps got bounced in two games, 8-0 and 4-1. Nobody on the Southside will admit they're enjoying this. Everybody on the Southside is enjoying this.

The club hasn't been to the Pennant Melee since it won the World Siege in '05. The nobles up in the private boxes now say they "always believed." The cheap seats remember the 121, and so do I. Also somebody dropped a brass belt buckle outside the Ironpan tavern and it is very shiny and I have it now. Anyway.

First pitch is at the seventh bell. The City Watch has allegedly doubled patrols on the Southside, either for the celebration or for the other thing.

— Skritch, on the beat (allegedly)