Rust Monster Eats Shears at Undermaw Level Seven Opening

THE UNDERMAW, LEVEL 6 — A rust monster ate the ceremonial ribbon shears, then the stair gate, then most of Reeve Maudrey Fennick of Brindlemoor's chain of office yesterday morning. That ended the third annual grand opening of Level Seven about four minutes after it began.

Brindlemoor Adventurers' Guild, Chapter 9 has promised for three autumns running that the Undermaw's seventh level will open to licensed parties "next tenday." About two hundred townsfolk turned up to watch, along with a brass band and a refreshment table run by four hirelings, who were paid in coupons.

The rust monster came up the stairwell during the second verse of the Guild anthem. Witnesses say it went for the shears first. The Reeve was holding them. "I felt them go warm, and then I felt them go," said Reeve Fennick. The gate's hinges followed, then the gate, then the clasp of her chain. "We are aware of the rust monster," she told this reporter, holding the remaining links.

The Fourth Attempt, invited to descend first, took the worst of it. Box score: fighter 44 of 44 hit points, armor class down from 18 to 11 after her plate became what she called "a fine orange powder"; wizard 22 of 22, one dagger short; mule 11 of 11, carrying nothing made of iron and not at all sorry. The party's bard, who asked to be named, called it "a very expensive way to find out what's down there."

The band's tuba section came through untouched. Bandleader Orrin Tuck credited brass being "the wrong sort of metal." The drummer's rim hoops were not so lucky.

I lost my seventh ten-foot pole of the season at the foot of the stairs. I rolled poorly: I held it out to see if the creature was a mimic. It took the iron tip and left me the wood, which I am told is the polite thing.

Chapter 9 says nothing has changed. "Level Seven remains on track to open next tenday," said Deputy Registrar Pell Oddingwick. "The rust monster is a Level Six matter that was visiting." A Shieldwall Mutual Assurance Society adjuster, speaking on condition that nobody ask her about the ribbon, said the fighter's armor will be filed as wear and tear. The shears are listed as a "ribbon-related incident, pending."

Wooden replacement shears have been ordered. As of press time the rust monster was asleep across the top step, which Chapter 9 describes as "a soft launch."

— H.D., filing from below